Humility

Maybe this is a very prideful thing to say, but I've never thought that something I struggled with was pride. I'm just not a proud person...or am I?

We have been in Texas now for just over a month. We love it here. The weather has been nothing to brag about, especially having just moved from Florida, but we love it. I love the conveniences and amenities of living close to a major city. I love the church where I am now serving, and so does my family. It has been a fairly smooth transition for us and God has made it clear to us that this was the right decision. We are where He wants us. One of the ways, however, God has made that clear to me, I was not ready for. He has used this transition and new role in ministry as a wake up call for me.

I have been a worship pastor now for 8 years or so. I love knowing that I am doing exactly what God wants me to do. I was part time in college for a few years and then we moved to Florida for my first full-time position. In both of those places I was THE worship pastor. There was no other. I was in charge of the whole department and lead, every week, God's people in worship. I never knew it, but I was thriving on the recognition. I was thriving on the weekly "pat on the back." I subconsciously loved that everybody knew my name and what I did. I loved that any question about worship or music was directed to me. I thrived on the fact that I had the closest relationship with the lead pastor; that he wanted to know my opinion and have lunch with me.

Now, I'm in a place that I love, a position that I'm growing into, and a church where I'm so excited to serve, but it's different than my first two experiences. The difference is I'm not THE worship pastor. I'm just A worship pastor. My title, however insignificant, is the Associate Worship Pastor. I'm truly ok with that, but like I said, it's different.

Caleb is the worship pastor and he is great at what he does. I'm so thankful that God lead me to this church to work with him, to learn from him, and to grow under his leadership. Compass is a place where I feel my family can be for a long time and I think any success that we might have here, or anywhere else for that matter, will be directly related to the lesson I'm learning right now, only a month into my time here.

Here are a few scripture references that God has been using to speak into my life:

Proverbs 16
18 Pride goes before destruction,
a haughty spirit before a fall.
19 Better to be lowly in spirit and among the oppressed
than to share plunder with the proud.

Ephesians 4
1 As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Psalm 25
4 Show me your ways, O LORD,
teach me your paths;
5 guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.
6 Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love,
for they are from of old.
7 Remember not the sins of my youth
and my rebellious ways;
according to your love remember me,
for you are good, O LORD.
8 Good and upright is the LORD;
therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.
9 He guides the humble in what is right
and teaches them his way.

God has used this transition, for me, to expose the ugly pride that I wasn't even aware of. To remind me why it is I do what I do, and that is not for a pat on the back or for any recognition from man, or for any form of authority, but for His glory alone. That's the only reason I lead worship and the goal of my life. I'm still dealing with these feelings, but I'm thankful that God has allowed me to recognize this so early. This is a time of reflection for me, a time of growth, and I want to thrive in nothing else but the love and mercy of Jesus Christ. I am being humbled...so "God, teach me Your way."

It is my prayer for you, the reader, that this post will awaken you to any pride that you might need to deal with. If it does, open yourself up to be changed from the inside out.

To One End